So you get pasta free and soup and breadsticks
But you gotta pay for drinks and tip.

This. It’s ridiculous to compare the veggie burgers to a plain beef patty. Nobody I know eats them plain. They add all kinds of seasonings, with sodium and sugar and fat. The veggie burgs come pre-seasoned. If that’s how they compare to plain beef patty, they are way ahead by the time you actually eat the burger.

My wife’s a vegetarian. This is the first fake burger that you could give me and I wouldn’t know. Beyond is close but Impossible wins. It’s really hard to sell the concept to non-believers, but this is just as good as beef.

That’s what I was thinking. My girlfriend is vegetarian, which makes me mostly vegetarian by default. She isn’t evangelical about it, she’s down to eat anything, she just became a vegetarian because it seemed like an easy way to cut down on her carbon footprint and such. My takeaways from semi-vegetarianism though are…

I eat them for deliciousness reasons

Is anyone eating these for nutrition reasons though? Isn’t it mostly environmental and ethical reasons? 

My first thought was “WTF were they thinking?!”

Hell, my wife’s ex came to our wedding. I didn’t know him that well but I knew her and that was all I needed to know.

Is it the same as “How do you get two bagpipers in tune?”

***looks it up***

How horny?: Pretty horny

The canon term for Max Rebo’s musical genre is “jizz”. Seriously. Look it up.

What. The. Hell. First off, Finn is 1000% horny on main in The Force Awakens. And Rey and Kylo Ren are a hair’s breadth away from straight up psychically fucking for most of The Last Jedi. Those movies are hella horny.

First and Business don’t have middle seats, which Premium Economy is typically priced closer to.

Uh, I was drunk. That’s it.

I’m sure publishers are champing at the bit

You must not live in the South.

You must not live in the South.

Moral of that story: don’t get married.

Tomorrow on Kinja deals:

Tomorrow on Kinja deals: