Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Goodell.

I don't really care about football, but I also don't really care about women. Is there some way I can use these two facts to make myself feel morally superior to everyone else without really accomplishing anything?

Peter King, to restaurant hostess: Hey, did you hear about Peter King's integrity?

The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

Lacky: "Welker popped Molly"

Smart move by K.C. Smith will have no problem managing this money.

Shaw will continue to be allowed to attend his classes. However, his teachers have become concerned that maybe his dog didn't really eat all of his homework this semester.

Well, bully for him.

Leave it to a Christian school to start off with a big return

green screen? it would SUCK to do, considering how well this show does re: scouting sets and stuff, but it's not really out of line for a church to say 'n ty' to a request for a naked lady to stroll around it's stoop, as was stated.

I laughed when he said "Coach Tomlin, this is Snoop Dogg." I guess he just wanted to eliminate any doubt in Tomlin's mind as to who this sage advice was come from.

Andy Reid did that all the time. In fact, he used to do three shows a day, until that stupid Blackfish documentary made everyone all uppity about it.

Very old footage was the reason Kobe was sidelined for much of last season.

Not surprised the the teenagers tried to move on to other assumed vacant properties in the Miami metropolitan area. A baseball stadium can only provide limited hours of amusement.

Awesome reaction by the guy in the suit. Even better than the fall itself.

"Good effort, but you need to blame everyone for being racist bigots on your way out."

This shot makes the whole movie worth watching.

Jesus, pineapple?! The fuck is wrong with you guys! Put raspberry back at the top where it belongs.

That's his legal name.

*fidget*