You know nothing about their situation or what Ohtani is looking for, bro. They have both obtuse management and a cute center fielder.

I wish I had a job where I could just write the same article every week or two and just change a few of the words toward the top to match recent events.

1. Petr Cech is amazing.

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

He’s great at putting up numbers. But it’s hard to say he didn’t hold back Durant’s abilities, let alone the Thunder in general with his play after watching this season play out.

Did you watch Durant play with the Warriors this year? It was incredible how devastating he was when he could reliably get the ball in places…

Go Fuck Yourself Haisley