Yep, you’re right. Here’s a few of them:

At least they all probably stand for the national anthem though.

When naked wrestling is part of your repertoire, I can understand why football players are so dead set against gay guys in the locker room.

Well, in my dorm I certainly did it as often as I could.

While much of it sounds horrific, there’s nothing wrong with a little naked wrestling amongst pals. Who hasn’t, when boredom strikes, asked a friend, “Hey lets strip naked and roll around the floor together,” I’d guess 99% of college roommates do it regularly.

Oh Darn. You made me change my mind Jack. I’m going to vote for a raging lunatic who brags about not drinking but somehow stays up all night tweeting himself lower and lower in the polls. I’m going to vote for a serial molester who probably doesn’t even intend to have real sex with his victims. I’m going to vote for…

This is especially excellent because it implies he wishes to have a sexual relationship with Condoleeza Rice. Alec Baldwin portrays Trump on SNL. Another famous character Baldwin portrayed was 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy... who had a sexual relationship with Condoleeza Rice.

Due to the deft maneuvering by his daughter there, I hadn’t noticed the mealy-mouth, weirdness that his sons call alternately “breathing” and “smiling” in the background there. Yuck.

Remember when Donald heard the word “pathological” during the GOP primaries and tried to use it in every tweet?

Kinda like when Donald Trump boasted about sexually assaulting women, and then tried to defend himself against a plethora of accusers by implying they weren’t attractive enough for him to sexually assault.

saying that someone’s “a lovely woman” but also a “a bitch” doesn’t quite make sense.

Even on a strictly rhetorical level, saying that someone’s “a lovely woman” but also a “a bitch” doesn’t quite make sense.

Translating “I moved on her like a bitch” to “I moved on her like Condoleeza Rice” somehow makes it less nonsensical.

Except it is followed by “I read the transcripts.” That is basically the same as seeing it because both the questions and answers are typed up. For example, a script is much like a transcript. I can tell what happens in a film by reading the script, but not seeing it. I can do the same for a presser and the…

Ok, so let me get this straight:

Finally a pro scout recognizes Tebow as a quarterback.

There is a little, local hardware store within walking distance of my house. If I want something beyond a handful of nails to hang a picture I have to drive 20 minutes to get to Lowes. You know why? Asshole behind the counter was leering at my then 14 year old daughter- eyebrow waggling and what have you and says to…

I was thinking, based on his comments, he looks more like a guy explaining to Chris Hansen that the wine coolers and condoms in his grocery bag were purely coincidental and he was only there because his daughters friend “needed someone to talk to”

Schilling looks like the truck driver at the counter in some diner in the middle of nowhere ready to tell you how the world REALLY works, which they aren’t gonna teach you in some fancy college.

So this kid watches a sexual assault, lets a buddy sit on his shoulders to get a better view, but doesn’t report it until 3 months later and only as part of his own unhappiness at being hazed. Fuck this team, but fuck this guy as well.