Things you should never do:

And they’re wrong. So fuck em. 

It’s a haircut dude. It’ll make your wife happy. Just do it.

“because they branded themselves as vaguely funny, uber-devoted husbands.”

I’d respectfully disagree: Grand Theft Auto was a known entity outside of gaming (mainly for its controversy) long before Hot Coffee and I’m old enough to remember the likes of Sonic 2-sday and Mortal Monday. On a side note, I’d also point out that the Halo 3 ‘blockbuster’ effect only seemed to happen in North…

A blockbuster game? Without a shadow of a doubt.

I started 3 again yesterday after not playing it since it came out. I had forgotten just how good it really is. It’s truly one of the best games ever made. I am sucked into it all over again and I can’t wait to rediscover things I’ve forgotten about and find new things altogether. There’s so much packed into that game…

Except no one’s gonna give a shit about yours.

They’re writing it in character, just like the promotional materials for the game leading up to launch. When you open up the emails, it’s simply your play stats, written in Esposito’s character, who’s the villain of the game.

Calm down. This is just the usual promotional emails stuff. Many, many games do this if you check the box of “receive promotional emails” on their websites. No one is receiving this without their consent. Chillax.

Dude DC does the same shit. It's comics. It's all ridiculous and nobody should ever take any of it seriously.

Dying Ligjt and Dead Island arent L4D copycats. There are plenty of options for copycats but those games are not really similar other than they’re first person games with zombies. If anything they’re closer to copies fo Far Cry or Dead Rising. 

At risk of being an asshole, the best life hack is to skip In-N-Out and hit up a local burger joint. It’s highly overrated. 

Fuck off with that nonsense. Even setting aside that corporations have most of the negotiating power and legal advice and that it’s often difficult to even know what the going rate is, let alone what other stuff you should be taking into account, Steve Englehart and his artists created the original Star-Lord character…

Yes, because you are above all that basic human biology, and have no traits that would verge on addiction at all.

There are a TON of new great games, I think you are just looking for a reason to complain

If that’s your criteria for new games, then that’s a you problem, not a “post-modernism” problem.

Also, thank GOD this wasn’t in slideshow format.

I hate living in Texas, but I can’t fucking wait to vote in the midterms. There’s a clear aim to drive people like me out of the state and haha! Jokes on you, dickheads! I’m going to vote, my wife is going to vote, we’re going to breed and raise wonderful, empathetic caring Texans who are gonna see right thorough your…