IIRC the only person to get more popular votes for President than HRC was President Obama. So: the two candidates to have gotten the highest and second highest number of votes for President were:

Christmas Wrapping is a Rom-Com movie in a song.

And your alternative was borne out during the campaign when he was laying the groundwork for this very thing saying that the election was rigged.

Perhaps a better way to put it is that he did want to win the presidency, but he didn’t want the job.

On your second paragraph: don’t hold yourself to others’ progress. Are you paying rent for the basement? Are you able to feed & care for your dog? If you answer yes to these questions, then you’ve got your shit more together than many people.

I used to get these questions (not from family or close friends: they knew better) and I’d start asking questions back: when are you having your tubal ligation??

Fearless says get better at once!

Jordan Peele’s tweet about this is full of win:

My favourite Christmas songs are the angry sort: The Kinks: Father Christmas  and The Pogues: Fairytale of New York are tied with The Waitresses: Christmas Rapping very closely behind.

For the Emily Litella reference:

<Insert "WHY NOT BOTH?" meme here.>

w/r/t:

Instead of “JAM” or “PIM” my husband & I referred to them as PB&J. Was that from the show?

No love for Doris from Rego Park? So beloved by the ’FAN crew & listeners was she that many of them showed up to her funeral.

If you’re writing your own vows, you’re finished with that one comment.

Also valid: this is what happens when you hate gay people.

I’m calling dibs on Pussynado as my band name. Or is Pussy-Nado better?

Who’s the “she” in that second sentence: your spouse or your cat?

He used to go to High School football games at schools where he had no “natural” reason to be there (IE: no kids, nephews, nieces playing or cheering).