Every grammar error, misspelling, and word choice is deliberate. One of PFT's many strengths.

I feel like playing with that dude would not make a good difference. The police wherever he ends up are not going to be the same police he's used to dealing with at FSU, and his actions over the years have shown him to be a pretty immature dude. Fights with airsoft guns that kind of thing are okay, but he doesn't seem…

I think Arby's is doing pretty well out West. Maybe not as well as they'd like, but what fast food place is? Stock seems stable etc. Do you know something that'd suggest otherwise?

Basically being a fan means giving up thinking critically about your team while they're winning. It's not healthy for society, but tribal loyalty rarely is.

Tumblr is actually good (aside from the lack of commenting) though, so a longform version of it would be even better.

I guess the team that didn't win would also be accurate.

Not this game anyway.

It's better than that though, this isn't the other guy getting kicked in the balls, this is the other guy kicking himself in the balls after loudly getting the attention of everyone else at the party. All we have to do is stand there, watch, and try to keep a straight face.

Mobile quarterbacks are a good idea. They mature into better QBs than glass cannons like Manning. Pure passing QBs, who can't scramble, can't move worth a damn are A)boring and B) not as effective.

Because FSU and the police responsible for arresting FSU players have gone out of their way to make it really really clear to everybody that the law doesn't apply to FSU players.

Eat plenty of beans. Look, farts are like urine in a swimming pool. The only way to make sure you're not in someone else's is to make a little of your own.

We ended up with the Bone instead. Such a failure.

"Who do you think is going to win the presidential election in 2016?" That's what people should ask. Dude clearly has zero interest in talking about football (which is completely legitimate, forcing someone to talk is bullshit) so maybe talk about something else. I bet he'd at least consider answering.

Who? (Every child of the last eighteen years. Which means there are conceivably people who can legally vote who don't know what you're talking about.)

Tripped on his dick.

There is no coach, no coordinator that doesn't look ridiculous. New Orleans found The Dude and put him in a barely fitting jacket. Andy Reid is part walrus. Name me a coach who doesn't look goofy as hell. Sides, Pete looks way more like the planter's peanut man. http://deadspin.com/this-gif-of-pe…

Dude will never that you spent that kind of money on a Brazilian though. I mean most guys don't know what they cost.

Nah. Dutch is sensible until you're in a relationship, then you either swap off on a date by date or one of you gets the restaurants and one of you gets the groceries.

No one blind dating today knows what Angela Lansbury used to look like and in five years (probably now for the vast majority if we're being honest) no one will know who she is.

Ink is cheap. Throw some at them.