There is literally nothing good about this story.

Just unplug him.

“Who, me?”

Unfortunately, the only thing more anti-American than Trump is the Republican Party itself.

Just look at him go!

Ladies and gentlemen, your President of the United States!

Every time I read a headline like this and I don’t see “fatally shot” it’s a win.

That thing’s got nothin’ on the Cornballer.

“Brains have been washed. Wheels have been greased. Fear has been mongered.”

I’m just impressed by the Flipper reference*!

He felt that needed to keep an eye on everyone and continue brokering deals between all of the crime bosses to keep them out of his neighborhood.

I threw up in my mouth a little every single time they kissed.

What’s worse is that the police actually responded. Talk abouta fuckin’ waste of taxpayer money.

Duh!

We don’t drag citizens away in the night and make them disappear with no accounting for there whereabouts... yet.

Followed by “Please, remember to adhere to our standards of civility*!”

Pretty soon they’re gonna need to replace “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” with “It’s like Communist Russia and Nazi Germany all rolled into one!”.

“They care far more about foreigners than their own people.”

Oh okay... now I see what’s funny about it.