Wait. You mean to tell me that a basketball player who did really well at Duke is not playing well at all in the pros?!

Chief of Stickin’ It to Lib’ruls.

These are the same people who gave us transubstantiation. I find it best just to roll your eyes and humorously say, “Oh, is that all! And Martin Luther had a problem with that?!”

One hopes he’ll soon be able to return to his trade of wearing clothes for a living.

I can’t help but imagine Rajon Rondo is having flashbacks of Sebastian Telfair and thinking, “The comeback starts right now!”

This is why the NBA sends its announcers the scripts prior to tip-off. It’s his fault for not making it for the read-through.

Now you know why race fans aren’t called white recyclables.

Not to mention the biggest factor in the ‘96 Bulls’ season, Tim Donaghy.

Well, they did all that, presumptively, without an NBA referee betting on the same games he’s calling, so there’s one thing the Warriors have over the Bulls.

Given how nobody’s brought this up, am I to presume that the unofficial punishment for making racist comments is two nut-kicks? Because if that’s so, Draymond Green should attend the Republican National Convention.

By that same metric, aren’t all Thunder fans outside of Washington state casual fans?

Wait. There are honestly people who believe the NBA ISN’T rigged?!

Strange. She doesn’t look like a “bro.”

You think Hillary will be a progressive president?! Damn, and they say Sanders supporters are delusional! Hey, whatever, I don’t have a draft-able kid.

Then, I guess Hillary needs to decide if she’s more beholden to the board of Goldman Sachs or the wing of the Democratic Party she left behind long ago.

If by “nice” you mean, “not as outwardly shitty as the other option presented.” I get a feeling if Hillary wins, we’ll hear four years of, “...but think about how much worse it would have been if TRUMP WERE PRESIDENT!”

If you honestly believe Clinton will do anything to fight the bigotry and hatred in this country, you’re forgetting a certain birth certificate hullabaloo, specifically which nominee started it (HINT: It’s not the former game show host.).

Either way, we get a conservative president. Hope you don’t have any draft-able offspring.

I know, right? I mean, wanting to vote for a candidate whose worldview and stance against democracy-for-sale mirrors mine, when clearly it’s somebody else’s turn to be president?! How gauche!!!

They’ll both be ineffective against the Confederacy of Congress, but only one will at least fake being awfully sorry about it.