“Forgive me please, but that’s what you get when you play with people’s emotions.”

“According to footage recorded on the officer’s body cam”

If the guy can’t control his temper or subdue a drunk woman without smashing her face in he has no business in that job.

Yay! Some not-shitty news happened today!

Love him! My 17 year old daughter wore a dress with spaghetti straps yesterday and when a school administrator told her to cover up she asked him if her shoulders were turning him on. She's a sassy thing and I love it.

i live in baltimore and i will tell you what happened. a bunch of high school kids had a “purge.” they set fire to a lot of cars and buildings (including a senior housing building that was being built), looted stores, caused a lot of fucking destruction, and threw rocks and bricks at cops. i also saw a video of cops…

Apology pizzas should definitely be a thing. There’s a website where you can order a glitter bomb sent to people who’ve wronged you, why not a website where you can order a pizza sent to someone you’ve wronged?

i'm gonna need an apology pizza for that header picture, because I don't have money for pizza right now but GODDAMMIT I'M HUNGRY FOR IT.

Teach them how to braid? A puppet show?

dont forget like star wars apples newer stuff is overpriced and quality sucks in comparison to the older.

It’s cute how you believe whatever the police tell you.

that combined with the scruffy facial hair has like a magnetic power over me

They need change at the top.

As a black man, I feel like someone at least trying to have the conversation with you is the right course of action. Someone is taking the time to actually speak with you and you can actually guide them and help them at least see the problem. They'll never understand the issue at hand, they can't, but at least you can…

I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I want to move to a different country.

The thing is about abortion — and about a lot of things — is that I think people get tied up in all these details of, sort of, you’re this or this or that, or you’re hard and fast (on) one thing or the other

I was visiting NY state last summer and the clerk at a wine store was able to check my Canadian drivers license against an international database in like 10 seconds...good to know the same technology isn’t available for tracking accused rapists.

I flew out of john Wayne or Burbank whenever possible. So much better.

Nobody in LA really flies LAX unless its an international or transcontinental flight. Otherwise, we just stick to Burbank where the SR71’s flew. Burbank isn’t bad at all.