Yeah, for all we know, he might not even be the father. She might be a cheetah.

That statement drives me nuts! We have evolved so that enough people survive the birthing process to maintain the species. That's it. There is no grand design that makes all women able to have a "natural" birth. I am one of those people who would have died (along with my baby) without medical intervention.

I toggle between having "Pinot Noir, midsize car" and the theme song ("They're alive, damn it! It's a miracle!") playing in my head constantly.

Can you confirm that the Liz Lemon character was loosely based on secret filming done in my apartment? Because when I was watching that show in the same PJs as Lemon and eating night cheese shit got real weird.

my dream is to have retta (from parks and rec) host a late night show. Srsly. How amazing would that be?

Absolutely, but that's Lauren Bacall in the picture.

Can we talk about Samantha for a minute? I just checked out her collection, because I haven't since she was brought back from retirement or whatever they were calling it. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER DRESSES? She had the best clothes. Now she wears, well. She wears this:

"Look at Me" wins, hands down. This was me at the end:

When I write horror for kids, I want them to know it can't really happen. When I write horror for adults, I want them to believe it COULD happen.

HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT ME??!!! LOOK AT ME?!!!?!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A few years ago I was staying at a writing retreat in the south of Ireland. Gorgeous old manor house, lovely rooms, charming people - but there was no TV, no internet, no phone signal. The only things to do other than write was spend all night talking and drinking, go skinny dipping in the lake with the swans or go…

When I was 17 years old, I was an avid romance reader. I'd sneak all of my mother's Harlequin novels and lock myself in my bedroom and just absorb all of it's cheesy, dramatic, goodness. So when I started dreaming of this dashing, young fellow in a breezy, ruffled, white shirt (think Fabio or whatever any man on a…

So I told what I thought was the one story I had that was spooky story worthy. But then this happened over Christmas:

I forgot I drank all of the wine. When I got home and trader joe's was closed. The horror. The horror.

IS IT CHRISTOPHER PIKE

Sometimes I like to get drunk and watch The Room (true story: I did this on a first date once, and it was the best!)

No way. Marrying somebody I didn't have to live with all the time is basically my dream.

Yeah, but then there's