“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Go prime or go home, bitch.

If I order a pizza and I’m not very hungry, I ask them to cut it into 4 slices so I don’t have to eat 8.

I have a 2 year-old Moto X. If the phone isn’t plugged in, I just assume I’m at about 24%.

It makes me think of Michael Chang’s match in the French Open in 1989, when he was so exhausted and cramped up that he received serves way inside the baseline so he didn’t have to chase them down. Weird play, but it worked. Fed isn’t injured, but there may be an element of that same attempt to conserve engergy behind…

I wouldn’t have used “rectified” in my letter in this situation.

Now we know what to call him. Thanks, Sean.

Remember when Dems made jokes about Dubya and complained about how ‘bad’ he was? What percentage of those people would vote for a Dubs third term over Trump right now? 101%?

Once Trump turns his energy to reopening all the coal mines and factories, like he promised he’d do, we’re going to see an econimic boom like no other.

BREAKING: Democrats are more pessimistic about Republican led administration than Republicans.

I also don’t think they understand that women’s bathrooms have stalls. They seem to think a trans woman is gonna go into a women’s restroom, hike up her skirt and use a urinal.

you greatly overestimate the intelligence of your fellow humans.

We can’t get him to quit.

Wonder how many confederate flag wavers are telling Hillary supporters “you lost, get over it”?

If you are waiting, it’s a good thing. It means you aren’t about to die. The person who gets taken right in with no waiting and no paperwork is about to die without immediate help. Go back to dicking around on your phone and be thankful that you are waiting.

Not sure what to do with a Starbucks card though, since I do like coffee and all.

Not sure what to do with a Starbucks card though, since I do like coffee and all.

You and your liberal biased indisputable facts of things that Donald Trump “allegedly” said on Twitter. You make me sick, you lib-tard hippy-dippy... I can’t do this anymore.

This article would *definitely* exist if he spent every weekend putting together puzzles on his time off. And it would be glorious.

Kellyanne Conway confirmed that Trump is a great golfer. In fact, she referred to his last win as The Putting Green Masacre.

Just a sampling of how many times that out of shape shitgibbon bitched about Obama golfing.