Why would I want to add foam? A good beer will pour perfectly fine out of a bottle into a glass...same with a can. Learn to pour.

Why would I want to add foam? A good beer will pour perfectly fine out of a bottle into a glass...same with a can. …

Then what in the world is your dining room for?

Every time I open the news:

It’s kind of funny to think back on how many people made this joke. I mean, obviously Cheney was a powerful VP, but Bush still did plenty of presidenting. But now Trump is poised to actually be the Bush that we always used to joke about. Congratulations, President Pence.

This right here. When I started using a computer (IBM clone) I had to learn mother-effing DOS commands. Do not ever try to tell me that today’s kids are more computer-savvy cause they grew up with them.

For you, being trapped in a hotel in North Dakota during a blizzard in subzero temperatures will be a story you tell for the rest of your life. For midwesterners, it was Tuesday.

The wife and I decided that holiday season that we don’t want to have any children.

The wife and I decided that holiday season that we don’t want to have any children.

Damn, you weren’t kidding

Talk about Koreshing my hopes and dreams, amirite?

Also, make sure it’s all in CAPS so Josh knows you mean business.

So “only” 50+% more for a thicker laptop, smaller screen and Mediatek CPU? No thanks...

So “only” 50+% more for a thicker laptop, smaller screen and Mediatek CPU? No thanks...

I would be terrified to cook or bake anything for your birthday, lest it be harshly judged. Do you accept donations of hard alcohol?

I always like these articles in theory. But the reality is that I won’t even walk on a hotel carpet without flip flops. No way am I getting close to lying down on it.

Wait, so posting things on Facebook and commenting on articles on Gawker/Gizmodo/Jezebel/Deadspin DOESN’T get the attention of people that actually matter?

I have been considering my diet as of late and realized I needed to start eating healthier again. Then I saw this video and realized that I was about to make a mistake. Sign me up for spaghetti pie.

Stick a feather in it.

Youre precious.

Nowhere. For the love of God, stop selfie-taking every damn thing.

Then you are endangering yourself and others out of ignorance by constantly “picking up your phone and looking at it.” Just get a mount!