Have them do you bent over the table, that way you can do both at the same time. It's not like you're supposed to enjoy sex anyway! Everyone knows women don't enjoy sex!

That was also me at work today, but sadly Friday is my Tuesday. D;

I'm having one right now! ;D

You might want to rethink that. Temper tantrums will look like this:

Be-Excellent-To-Each-Other, and his younger brother Party-On-Dudes.

I was on the subway the other day (near FIT) when this college age guy got on. He was wearing pants so tight that when he sat down he spread his legs as far as they could go and sighed audibly. All I could think was "Man, if your skinny jeans are that uncomfortable that they're strangling your junk, maybe you should…

The not controlling your bag stuff drives me crazy. A woman was once paying so little attention to her bag (but plenty to her phone) that she almost smacked her bag into my face. She didn't even apologize either.

God, Beatrice and Arthur remind me of my downstairs neighbors when I was in high school/early college. They also loved the big smiles in real life followed by the snippy little notes (usually about me, because I was a teenager so clearly I was the devil, despite everything they claimed about me was untrue).

Anyone else find it funny that this was an educated white woman complaining about how educated white women keep complaining?

Fair point.

I like how that one is determined to bring the hose above water, but all the others are going "NO, YOU FOOL! IT WILL DESTROY US ALL!" and try to hold it underwater.

I don't understand that. If you advertise that (for example) the cup of coffee is 16oz, why is it unreasonable to expect 16oz of drink?

Yeah, typing that was kind of surreal.

I'm not going to lie, I'm in the target demographic for Snapchat and it just holds no appeal for me (though I can see how it could be useful for sexting).

I second the awesomeness of Lazarus. I mean, I expected great things because Rucka/Lark brought us the amazingness that was Gotham Central, but even so Lazarus is just blowing everything else out of the water.

Yeah, BlueWater is not a great company.

Why do you think she didn't need a shark cage? Clearly Bruno beat away all the other sharks. Little known fact, Bruno also does the local Ocean news.

Watched gif. Did not get murderous Pillsbury Doughboy. I want my money back.

Yeah, alcohol sterilizes stuff, right? Kills all the germs. You're good.