My sister’s oldest girl chopped off her own hair, in massive chunks, in the front and right at the scalp, about every 6 months for 3 years. The hair would juuuuuust be getting to a place where they could do a cute little cut, and then HACK, off it all came while Nini was supposedly playing quietly. After about the 3rd…

My favorite single Amazon review is for Frozen:

Sure, but like...you can’t hover over your kid and smack the toy out of their hands the second it gets close to their hair. Kids are “prone” to doing a lot of weird shit. Putting toys near their hair is the least of it.

This information has made my MILLENNIUM. Thank you for this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. (I work for a toy company where we regularly get ‘my kids did a dumb thing because they’re kids but it’s your fault’ complaints, so I will be sharing this with all my coworkers, too. We need the laugh.)

Simple.

Bwahahaha - I must read Amazon reviews of any particularly notorious product.

i literally can’t sleep because of an adrenaline rush from laughing too hard at those damn reviews

The one declaring “it the perfect gift for that child you hate” killed me.

From the Amazon Q&A section:

OMG that was magical. I was CACKLING with laughter at all the pictures of these. I mean, I saw the ad and thought, “huh, those look just like burrs.” Saw the headline and was like OH GOD YES I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A BURR OUT OF PLASTIC???? It’s like the toy company has never met…

Being a teacher...the things you see. The girl I nanny, I was her preschool teacher for her and her older brother before that.

They don’t tell you the weird and stupid things you’re going to encounter as a teacher. I had to explain to a boy why he shouldn’t use sharpie to color his eyebrows in after he shaved them off. The tip was too wide most of his forehead was now eyebrow. I had to show him what he should have used instead and suggest I…

I fell down that rabbit hole. It was so good I may need help getting out. My favorite was mom who was absolutely positively most assuredly sure that her 5 yr old special snowflake would NEVER EVER put them in her hair. She talked to her and obviously Flake is smarter than every other 5 yr old and would never disobey…

A 10 year old in my class was bleeding profusely today because he tried to sharpen his finger in his pencil sharpener to “see what would happen”. A 10 year old. With no cognitive problems. So I have zero problems believing that a kid would jam 45 of these stupid things in their hair.

Because they are basically legos for the non-engineer types. Want to make a kitty? Instead of finding the right size and type pieces like you would in lego, you just squeeze a bunch of these suckers into shape like burr play-doh and you are done!

Back in the 90s Cabbage Patch came out with a doll that ate food and it fell into a backpack. Kids would put their hair in the Cabbage Patch kids mouth and their hair would get stuck in the motor. Idiots.

Zhu Zhu Pets.

Kids are stupid and it’s unbelievable how many of us make it to adulthood.

I just got back in from a dog walk during which I had to stop repeatedly to pick burrs out of my pooch’s hair. Why would anyone spend money on plastic burrs? WHY MARK?

This brings me back to when I worked at Walmart 5+ years ago during the zum zum* craze...the hamsters on wheels. Multiple parents returned them after they had to cut them out of their daughters hair because the girls wheeled them on their heads. Their hair became stuck in the wheels and yeah.