Can't decide if their lives are like The Giver, The Stepford Wives or some other dystopic meme. But all I can think of is this:

I am shocked, shocked that academic fraud and football would be linked at such a hallowed institution as Notre Dame.

Hindsight is 20-20: Best. Postgame. Interview. Evah.

I read your last line as "Kissing up to the right kind of blow jobs" and thought, Yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar.

I bid 500 Quatloos!

Piero genius.

Speaking as a (gay) man, unless and until there is not only a sea-change in how we deify athletes but how we teach males beginning at age five to deal with testosterone, emotions and ego, I fear this will only increase exponentially, with eyes wide shut.

Thanks! But major fail on my part not being able to superscript the copyright symbol.

May I steal this? I'm stealing this.

Methinks you don't understand anything about Sarcasm.

TadKosciuszko and JosephFinn we got another one here.

Baby please! I am not from Havana!

Hoo-boy my gaydar is going off like a smoke alarm at a Texas barbecue:

No, I think it's "Schwanzstucker."

Oh if only Bleebs picked up a motorcycle habit and spared us the trouble.

Ugh meant Kenny Chesney. Six of one, etc.

I created this for last year's Toby Keith shitshow in Pittsburgh, but I think it applies here as well.