Yeah, we’re wicked clever and shit. Strap in.

I do not watch the NFL, but I will gleefully read every article about how fucked up and stupid the NFL is.*

What if we were already boycotting the NFL for other reasons?

Where’s the option for those of us who aren’t watching the NFL currently but would if Colin Kaepernick took a shit on the corpse of Roger Goodell?

Even his coach admits this take is truer than the beams in Tower 7.

Couldn’t we just get Murk Ruffalo to do this instead?

Loved Don Cheadle’s line about Trump: “a racist, abusive coward who could permanently damage the fabric of our society” 

I’ve already talked to Lena Dunham

Let’s just say you’re not good at analogies and leave it at that.

No.

It was Trump. Trump killed JonBenet Ramsey. But he didn’t act alone. Burke paid him $5 to do it and Trump needed the money.

If it had been Selina Meyer, Gary would have been all over this.

None of the Clinton Foundation controversy, however, is quite as blatant as what we’re allegedly looking at with Trump.

And she specifically asked for “Michelle."

Hmm, maybe it’s because the only assassination of a candidate was a major party candidate? You have to draw the line somewhere, or anyone could declare themselves a candidate and demand protection.

NPR is weird sometimes.

“Hi, welcome to Fresh Air. I’m Terry Gross. You may know Jesus of Nazareth from his kicking the moneylenders out of the temple or possibly from his biographical anthology, The Bible. Jesus, welcome to the program.”

It’s really got to be hard to be your father’s second choice for a date.