Pulling your junk out in public is never, ever acceptable, but can we talk about how asking someone if they’re wearing underwear is ALSO NOT ACCEPTABLE? She wasn’t asking for it, she didn’t having it coming, but seriously.

You should try The Liars’ Gospel, which is not technically officially about Jesus but totally is.

The girls began waiving their bracelets

Sepp Blatter Will Ruin FIFA Until He Dies

Denny Hastert has always been a slimy piece of shit, but he wasn’t Speaker when Clinton was impeached. The House impeached Clinton in December 1998, and Hastert didn’t become Speaker til January ‘99.

It’s not a common thing, but the uprising and the riots that have been going on for years.

Whorship is also what we called it at church camp once the kids went home.

Personal growth!

Edit: I made the joke and I did not feel good about it, so redacted for delayed-onset judgment.

Salmam Rushdie’s memoir was amazing. Amazing! Recommend it to everyone! But. . . fucking phenomenal flames writer.

He just doesn’t know the Unwritten Rules yet.

Also, that’s a double negative that English is pretty comfortable with.

I don’t know who this person is or what this show is about, but I spend a weird amount of time trying to pronounce “Botched’s” in a way that didn’t sound dumb.

Yeah, I dunno. Maybe I’m quibbling over semantics, but “had his visa revoked” implies that she’s got these mystical connections that revoked it without cause. Even an anonymous tip has to lead somewhere to invalidate a visa.

Uhh, how do you think she was able to have his visa revoked?

Nobel Peace laureates, Leymah Gbowee and Mairead Maguire

To be fair, they are likely exhausted from fighting a continuous war for the last 12 years.

Sometimes the pain of your own team’s elimination precludes you from enjoying any hockey until September. Quoth Brooks Laich: “When you exit out of the playoffs, you want everyone to lose and die.”

If Michael B. Jordan dies for even a second in this movie, I’m out. I can’t handle watching him die an agonizing death one more time.

You think Fruitvale wasn’t a meaty role? I. What.