About 1994.

This is a fact and not an opinion, NFL announcers are terrible.... ALL OF THEM. It’s not their fault, the game just doesn’t need any announcing. I’ve come to the point where I hate all of them. The other major sports need announcers and they can actually enhance the game. I think it's high time that all NFL games are…

My “other five”

“Obviously, Elvis Presley was RIGHT SHIT.”

A LOT of the members of the 85 Bears still walk around with their dicks hanging out, acting like their shit doesn’t stink. Those guys have been treated like Gods for so long, they’ve long forgotten they’re just ex-football players who haven’t amounted to jack squat since.

Nah. It’s all about Penn State Truther Franco Harris, Crackback Ward, & Ben Ruthlessinabathroom.

I’m pretty sure he’s got the free time - hell, Drew could probably have him write them himself. I’m sure he’s got a half a bag of Funyun’s and some hot RC Cola lying around he could use as payment...

Phil Simms is the absolute worst.

Both the Ravens and Bears will be forever tied to a singular, insufferable former employee.

Am I the only one who thinks Denver’s defense is overrated?

Change up meats. Use white beans. Take a shit directly into the pot. Go nuts. It’s chili.

I’d make the Bears 1B, right behind the Dolphins. They won one Superbowl when they should have won at least two and they act like their the 60s Packers.

See Johnson, Calvin and Stafford, Matt.

Not only is Ditka awful, but looking back on 85 with a clearer mind, Ditka was easily the most unessential element.

If MLK, Ghandi and Jesus were Skins alumni they wouldn’t counteract Theismann’s insufferability.

For years now, the conventional wisdom has been that running backs are fungible and you don’t need a great one to win. But maybe that’s true of wideouts as well. Maybe they don’t really matter all that much.

And we don’t even have hands!!!

The Poor Man’s Greg Schiano is the worst insult for any coach.

When Brady got Wes Welker and Randy Moss, he seemed quite pleased about it.

All of America should pop a Champagne bottle the day the very last undefeated Dolphin dies.