Not to mention, she was repeatedly rumored as the person ratting out Paris Hilton's private gossip to gain proximity to media and access to events, so if that's the case, "the real me" is a massively opportunistic asshole that sold out her best friend.

So how many airports, car dealerships and landfills did the original 13 colonies have?

in his 35 years on the force no one else has described him as racist.

France is majority Catholic so I'm sure they're very confused on this issue

i’m going to die from burnout before i’m fifty fighting god and man alike

You know what, francis? I’m gonna be even fucking gayer.

The woman has strong Sarah Huckabee energy.  They both channel the “dead-eyed church bitch” look.

Yes, I wondered about this mustache I’m developing...

Democratic Party’s willingness to self-implode rather than cede any power to the left.

Tough weekend for the monarchy. 

Thank you for your sacrifice, Megan.

I am glad you also appreciate Gretchen Wieners towards the end of Mean Girls when she aligns herself with the Cool Asians :)

I am Space Jam?

I also love the end of this little fairy-tale: that poor, dumb, uneducated female (because of course she’s a she in that story) can’t read italian words on the menu, so he took her to a place where the words would be in spanish.

Her father, the inventor of the Toaster Noodle, would not be too pleased to hear about this.

If I ever decide to explore the world of eating ass, this sounds like a good primer.

“The mercury in the thermometer read 47 degrees, but I knew with the wind factored in, it felt like 45, maybe 42. This presented a challenge, nearly as stiff as the breeze I encountered, as I had chosen to leave my scarf at home, and my neck quickly became kind of chilly.  Also, my hair was blowing, which was…

In Baldwin’s defense, he’s removed one asshole from Twitter now.

I’m kind of surprised that mike pence cares what mike pence thinks.

Totally. They’ve actually tried a few things, at least one of which went comically wrong. Peru has a large historical community of Japanese expats, and Japanese officials figured that by letting them repatriate, Japan would be getting the ‘right kind’ of immigration (i.e. proper ethnic pedigree).