1853*

No one down at this establishment of yours would use faggy, French sounding words like “outmaneuver.” 

Though lets quickly address the disease of “white male” post haste! 

This face says “I am going to beat you with my heaviest metal Swingline stapler the second this is over with so badly even forensic scientists will not be able to conclude the cause of death.”

True in every word. Also how and why she will never be president. As much as “mediocre, centrist, white lady” is better than “extremely racist, clearly mentally declining, Orange demon of hell” it’s still not much of a sales pitch. Also running on centrism boxes you in basically by saying “moving to the left is not…

That better be the title of the opening chapter of her official campaign autopsy. 

I mean, that’s still practically the stratosphere compared to the seemingly-impossible low currently presiding over the office she’s aiming for. 

“It claps or it gets the stapler. Here’s your post it note warning.”

I like to tell really good, layered, lengthy-setup jokes to people I know likely won’t get it (and whom I also despise) and then allow them to assume the landing didn’t stick for around a minute, then hold them hostage with the intensely condescending explanation and subsequent explanation of both how and why it’s…

I have historically been up to offer any narrative I can if it’ll get me physical attentions and affections from the man folks. But that’s probably a strategy that develops because I’m an unquenchable slut. I’ve always found the “game” of hookup-courtship to be more about how you play and less about what you actually…

I wish these conservative patriarchal zealots would just go on tv and be like THERE IS A WOMAN SPEAKING OH MY GOD AND SHES APPARENTLY GOT SOME KIND OF OPINIONS PLEASE RALLY YOUR BEST TROOPS WE MUST MAKE HER STOP WITH THE TALKING OH GOD  

I just can’t imagine her having sex. She knows how to be a very certain kind of attractive and dresses like no other but even when she’s done “sexy” spreads and stuff in magazines, it only ever looks like some cheap emulation of sexy that doesn’t actually have any actual fire behind it. I feel like she’d be like…

The same, however, cannot be said for her spawn who is famous for being the uglier daughter he doesn’t want to fuck. So that’s got to be a bummer for Marla having that ball chained to her otherwise sterling getaway! 

Dull the shock*, not fill it. I’m too surprised to even type! 

You know they FUUUUUCK though. Like. Total and complete defcon one war-games level of fucking.

“As it turns out, Hopkins is a convicted felon.”

Ugh, you guys and your petty, cheap snarks. Pete is obviously deeply troubled and could probably always use the support. Plus, it’s his mom! God forbid he like... love her or enjoy living with her, despite being well off enough to otherwise be on his own. If this were a woman or girl, you guys would drag the person…

How many god damn times does it BARE repeating... THE BORG HAVE EXISTED FOR CENTURIES ALREADY BY THIS POINT IN TIME.

Someone find this man something to do. Also, I love how AOC is the scariest person to have ever lived to the conservative right.