A president does not decide to be frank when he’s talking to a war widow. Trump’s only skill seems to be making bad things worse.

I, for one, would like to have been a fly on the wall the first time Trump tried to pronounce the name “Niger”. $100 says he got it wrong in the worst possible way.

It was a French prison, however, so he probably now has Legionnaire’s disease.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

I can’t wait to see the movie spinoff. LEGO Hidden Figurines.

Sort of related: My favorite poem by Countee Cullen

someone also needs to take Bernie aside and remind him that he is old as fuck and should not run again because it takes all the wind out of the Dems’ (very valid!) argument that Trump is too old for the office (because he clearly has dementia, and it will probably have progressed by the primaries, and that should be…

Who’s President of the United States? How many women formally accused him of sexual assault BEFORE the election? Did it matter?

Kneel for a fucking song = expulsion/suspension/dismissal from team

“Certainly, there are no excuses for this type of behavior, but they are still children in a sense and hopefully this will be a learning experience for them and others.”

I’ve been a gassier for years. The sacrifice is done by those who remain at my side.

Normal, sane human: “your son made a brave sacrifice signing up to serve his country, and in spite of the potential dangers that might be involved, he showed immeasurable courage and honor in fulfilling his duty. His loss is an absolute tragedy, and my heart is with you in your time of grief.”

I’m sorry about your mom. Having no salivary glands must be so terrible. I had radioactive iodine therapy for thyroid cancer & decreased salivation is one of the side effects. It sucks to deal with.

Okay, how is Possum Queen Huckabee going to spin this?

“Hey, you play the game and someone is going to lose, but you play to win. He didn’t win, but we are. I’m a great winner, and I’m winning for him and you. You’re crying— here’s some paper towels...”

If the cops really wanted to catch this bull quickly, they would have employed a steak out.

The other reason is because you could be giving it to women without even knowing it. Think of other people!

At least the owner didn’t board a scientific exploration ship and toss it into the Atlantic.

I wonder how many child slaves it took to dig up all those diamonds?