I don’t understand why people are always like ‘ You’re wasting your time.’ You think I don’t know that? YOU’RE WASTING *YOUR* TIME, FRIEND.

Trump irl right now, practicing

What I’m wondering is who took that stinking, floating turd out of the grays. I’m in the grays seemingly permanently and Mr. “Russia is Fake News” isn’t?

I have deep respect for any animal that has the sense to all poop in a pile. My buddy worked at the aquarium in Atlanta for a while and the Japanese otters would designate a poop area. Smart, important to assign a poop area.

I just saw a large segment about this with Auntie Rachel, and it is truly a trip to Crazytown. Apparently, part of the problem is that the lawyers Cheeto Hitler was able to hire are not Washington constitutional scholars, since all of the big DC firms bounced him when his people came sniffing around looking for…

May I just say WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE.

Apparently Trump plans to pardon himself and his family members if necessary. It’s been running on the news here all morning and the general consensus is that US democracy, if previously considered shaken, is now utterly unstable.

It’s one of the many, many frankly implausible elements of 2017. A notoriously tiny Senator being literally replaced by the tallest Senator ever (!!) is the kind of corny, fake, distracting coincidence that your editor would make you take out of your political novel. But in 2017 it’s barely relevant.

“a relatively small one” a phrase I am sure the Cheeto is used to hearing in many circumstances.

That’s basically every day at my workplace. I’m the only one at the company with dual monitors and it was like I parked a Ferrari on my desk... one of the other managers asked if ‘I get internet in both of them’.

The header picture for this post is truly perfect. Just the top of the little KKKeebler Elf’s head, peering up, trying to see what the grown-ups are doing at the big table.

Speaking of iPhones, I’m still waiting for my Obamaphone...thanks Obama...for nuthin!!!

My first thought “No one is named Luther Strange!”

I was thinking about those commercials yesterday when I picked up my fiance’s inhaler from the pharmacy. $45, and I thought to myself “For just $1.50 a day you can provide an American with lifesaving medicine.” We’re lucky that’s the only regular prescription either of us need, but it still sucks we pay $45/month just…

Agree it is hilarious, and also makes me HUNGRY for: The next time Sarah Huckabette Sanders says “I don’t know” in response to a question about Trump, I hope some reporter will follow up with “Do you think Hope Hicks would know the answer?”

I agree with everything you said. He’s a selfish, awful person. But I think he’s a forgetful selfish awful person...

He thinks all the thoughts, at once. Unfortunately, they are all the dumb thoughts.

So what’s everyone bitching about healthcare costs for? Hell, for $14/month, I’ll take two and still keep my iPhone!

Sessions has to stay. If he left, and tried to go back to his old seat, he would have to fight incumbent Senator Luther Strange, who at 6 feet 9 inches, is the tallest member of the Senate.