To the advice-seeker: Try calling your brother on this thing called a phone. What’s important enough for only your brother to know but not important enough to have a five minute conversation?

This is the only comment necessary. They were convicted of assault because they didn’t spank her, they assaulted her. If they had just spanked her, she wouldn’t have shown up at school the next day with bruises and fucking cuts.

Beating your kid with a hockey stick while whipping a jump rope at her is not spanking.

Yeah, that sounds more like a beating.

“Entertainment Studios” is a hilarious name. I hope he branches out into other ventures like Food Restaurants or Business Offices.

Shut the fuck up. Ten billion dollars. Fuck you. Just shut the fuck up.

In December, AT&T settled with Allen, and as a result DirectTV and U-Verse picked up seven Allen-owned cable channels. Allen’s end game is clearly just a fair shake DOWN...

For days that you can’t ride your tiny unicycle to work.

For days that you can’t ride your tiny unicycle to work.

Simply because people “fighting” against racism are sometimes the worst of all racists without knowing it.

Because Gawker.

Also... I know folks are living longer nowadays, but “young”? She’s 40.

But for real, Bobby... that was perfect. The fact that there is nary a proper noun in this article is just.... excellent. I salute you!

Because she’s not a titan of late night TV. Just look at the recent video about how many people in #1 market NYC can’t identify Chris Pratt. Now how many Americans in total do you think can identify Samantha Bee? Her show hasn’t started, it’s on after Conan in a spot where multiple shows have failed, it’s just absurd…