You have to admire the dedication to simulating real-world customer driving cases - getting a dually to tail-gate other drivers on the way to a DIY store to buy a shopping bag of materials :-)

Could someone sum this up for me in writing? The subject matter really interests me but I don’t have time to watch a 45-minute video about it.

People have been pointing out this distinction for decades, but I don’t recall general agreement on the definition of classic ever being reached. Around the time I graduated from high school in 1963, I remember an article or column in a car magazine which stated authoritatively stated that only cars from the Brass Age…

Honda CR-V, Toyota RAV-4, Subaru Outback or whatever the small SUV is.....Nissan Rogue.....I mean honestly, at that budget, the sky is the limit for reliable transportation....

Agreed; don’t even get me started on the whole “brake” hoax being perpetuated by BIG CERAMIC!

How about the ole raise your truck 6" but don’t realign your headlights buffoonery? Yep, you’re lights look like their brights all the time THANK YOU! Agreed enough of the aftermarket BS already, and keep you damn bro-dozer LED light bar off on the road.

Jalopnik Community Hivemind Car-Buying Rules:

No, you just have to have a bunch of Instagram followers.

And for the proletariat:

Plus if everything really is the same they can just buy the cheaper men’s version but they don’t.

Also, be sure to add oil when needed.

The world was brown, black and off-white then, Calvin.

I mean if you listen to all the people calling in you get a common theme - people struggling with repairs to keep old cars on the road.

I don’t date supermodels for the same reason: in my dreams they are perfect; in real life they will disappoint, as any person will.

One should not give a single, solitary fuck if it will be accepted by other drivers. Start your own club, and bring several coolers of beer in the bed.

Well, he did almost write her off...

If you use your spouse to make content, are they tax deductible?

I’m really happy for you, and I’ma let you finish, but the SAAB 9³ had the best cupholder of all time.

How does the old saying go?... if you find a German engineer down in a hole and you throw him a ladder, you can be guaranteed that he’ll take it apart and make a shovel.