• HEAVY PILE OF CDS FELL ON PENIS

You couldn’t be more wrong. My son was immaculately conceived as well. My wife got pregnant even though we hadn’t had sex at all in the month she conceived. So miracles do happen if you put your faith in Jesus.

absurdity of a society “that believes the women over the man.”

Wicked Braeburn.

As an aside, Eli’s sister Gianni married Walter Seed.

Oh that’s golden, delicious.

A later Giants statement says that the team has activated a road cone from its practice squad to fill the roster spot.

You guys, don’t blame Apple for making those ill-advised statements. Clearly his internal processor was slowed down by forces outside his control.

They’ve gotta remove him. Can’t let him spoil the whole bunch.

Sounds like this guy is rotten to his core.

This doesn’t make any sense, where would someone get cocaine in Florida?

“Twenty on the Coke dog?”

Wow, the last place I’d expect this story from is Florida.

“Officer, that’s not mine. It’s for my dog.”

This shocking development will destroy the reputation of dog racing as a wholesome, family-friendly activity. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?SMH.  

Fucking for real. Now that I’m a bit older and can separate Tom Brady the football player from Tom Brady the man, holy shit I can’t stand the guy. I really hope he doesn’t pull a Peyton when he retires. That guy can fuck off too.

quantum uncertainty of true knowledge

I was largely okay with just about all of those bullet points, except this one:

Poe: What are you doing, Maz?