If I ever owned a gas station or went cliff diving I’d sure as fuck use that in every description of myself.

I can’t believe we’ve gotten to the point in this where George W’s presidency seems so normal and he no longer has to stay hidden away on his ranch. He was practically eloquent compared to trump and this is a guy that said “Sadame Hussein killed all the Mandela’s.” 

I wanna give Jimmy Carter a hug.

I love that Trump wasn’t invited.

Mind you, Obama wouldn’t put you down within minutes of meeting you, or, likely, at all.

Off subject, but Obama seems like the kind of nice guy who’d say he remembered anyway.

IDKKKKK he was a pretty hot-shit-it-boy in the 90s. I bet he is exaggerating some, tho.

He might, that’s a pretty distinctive hat.

I cannot wait for that little dead-eyed fuck to go down in flames.

She has that smarmy look that reminds me of Martin Shkreli. Every picture makes me dislike her, just on that facial expression.

Me too. I’m like your stereo typical NPR nerd. I’ve got the monthly contribution, a bumper sticker from working the pledge drive, and even a selfie with Ira Glass and I just can’t do it any more. I have reduced my listening significantly these days.

I don’t mean to outfit shame, but why do Melania and Ivanka always dress like they are going to a cocktail party? Isn’t this more of a business (or at least, less shiny) kind of event?

Is there any chance somebody will run up and slap those smug faces with slices of pizza,?

I know I should listen to this (don’t underestimate the opposition, know your enemy and all that) but I just can’t, and no amount of alcohol could make it tolerable. I’ll have to rely on others who have less of a gag reflex to facile lies to report on what came out of this buffoon’s mouth.

Stay tuned for today’s episode of: “Can you imagine what the reaction would have been if Michelle Obama had done something like that?”

But it’s perfectly fine if it’s that bitch Clinton and her emails 10 days before the election ...right?

I wouldn’t fuck Jason Chaffetz with Joe Scarborough’s.

Imagine the poor boyfriend. “I said I wanted strippers, not scriptures.”

“I don’t play golf and I don’t have a mistress.”

Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck is this shit? I stopped watching that “Designated Survivor” show because it was truly awful, but can we just nuke D.C. now? Please make sure they’re all there first.