Here you go:

Slightly fresher:

I mean she literally made a quarter of a million dollars with her abstinence-only speeches. So yeah, dollar signs seem appropriate. She has a lot of dollars.

Me, IRL:

Can’t keep a stiff upper lip about the ruling: he hasn’t got one.

Well if you pay them enough sex workers will say anything, Senator.

“gluten-free”

I can’t decide what I love (admire?) more about this image: the fact that you have 79 unsent drafts—and therefore are an even worse procrastinator than I am—or that you have an entire folder in your Gmail dedicated to “Grim Sexts”.

Imma bring this out again.

Like 2 minutes. I took a little psych and philosophy in college. And my brain houses a chemical soup that would best be described as a pointless brilliant nightmare good-time jamboree. It’s a lot like the pink elephants on parade sequence in Dumbo.

I would imagine that after licking Kris Jenner’s neck your tongue would taste of fake tanner and regret.

This puzzled me in terms of why Affleck felt this was any reflection upon him at all?

seems like Jennifer Garner had the same dream :(

How many e-mails did he have to send you to keep you from mentioning Gigli?

Well stated.

The whole debacle was completely unnecessary. They should have either refused his request or just not aired his episode.

I don’t understand this. Why would he demand to hide that part of his history? He is white, and his ancestors have been in this country for a while. There’s probably a good chance that every white person in the same situation has at least one slave-owning ancestor. Heck, I remember watching the episode with Wanda…

Then reality set in and I was upset and confused by it because I have never liked Ben Affleck and could not understand why my freaking subconscious would do that to me.

In the NY Times piece about the defenders of the Confederate flag there was a guy cited that said something like: you want me to accept that my great-greatgradfather was a monster. Look white people of the south. This is NOT a valid argument. Your great-grandfathers do not cease to be monsters just because they happen…