“I want to be clear, I did not in any way harm my girlfriend that evening.”

All I did was fire a bunch of bullets within earshot of her! She’ll be fine.

He’s doing his job to the best of his ability.

Lawyers are “just the best” until you or your business needs one.

You are incorrect. Federal sentencing guidelines are guidelines—they are not mandatory. They offer guidance as to what may be too lenient or too harsh (and in actuality provide trial judges cover to impose sentences, but that’s another issue entirely), but a judge is not required to sentence in accordance with the…