“But my mother will find some way to cut me down to “size,” the size I still fear I really am, underneath the illusion of my accomplishments.”

Amazing when reality dawns as it actually is — and not the way in which we have been trained to perceive it. It is so hard to disentangle from this since our main care providers are responsible for our subconscious assumptions in the first place.

Narcissists ‘need’ to see their children in a certain way in order to confirm their rightness and superiority to themselves. And it wreaks havoc on a child’s life: s/he is not seen and loved as a whole person but as the shadow the parent cannot acknowledge in him/herself and so madly projects upon the child.

I have suggested that my mother attempt medication.

I cut my mother off 8 months ago. I think of her all the time. She probably thinks I’m doing it to hurt her, but I’m doing it because she can hurt me so easily, and she’s so incredibly determined to pin me as the dysfunctional problem child she raised me to believe I was that I know if we talked, it would take less…

So true. I usually have to tell myself I didn’t have a mom growing up, I had a bully. The very first bully I’ve ever had among many I had in school growing up.

This is brilliant, and so true. Narcissists ‘need’ to see their children in a certain way in order to confirm their rightness and superiority to themselves. And it wreaks havoc on a child’s life: s/he is not seen and loved as a whole person but as the shadow the parent cannot acknowledge in him/herself and so madly…

“The truth is, I really do. I blame her for everything. For holding things I did when I was seven against me 25 years later, and for being skeptical of my successes under the guise of concern. This has propelled me to do better, be better. It’s just not what I deserved.”

I think honest pieces like this are so necessary, especially around things like Mother’s Day or the death of someone’s mom. When I moved away for college, I never looked back. Well, that’s a lie because I do find myself looking back at how horrible my mom was - especially to me. Now that I’m a parent and do the things…

Shade was born from people who were kept out of the sun.

When I first got to undergrad back in 2008 and met the person who’d become my best friend, I was floored when we were having a conversation - can’t even remember about what - and she said “I feel...”

Academic condemns students “feeling” things as “tyranny.” The irony is rich and buttery.