This sounds positively abysmal, but if they want my eyes all they need to do is put Dwayne actually in it. I would watch that man do his own taxes. Long-form!

OMG yes. Which I only very recently watched, when Adult Swim threw a bunch of them online for free after C. Martin Croker died. (I only got through a handful before I got fed up with their shitty web player, but fortunately his was one of the very earliest. And far less bad-weird than the cast-of-Gilligan's-Island…

I've already selected "MISTAKES WERE MADE" for the tombstone I'm not going to have.

"Gentleman" is also a polite euphemism in this scenario, I gather?

Wait, are you from Queens? Man, cable penetration in NYC was such a sad affair.

I thought it was the family and friends who were never going to see it. Which seems a weird assertion, the AV Club is a fairly high-profile site and I imagine that if I had a famous relative who'd died I'd probably read the media coverage of their death…

SonofaBITCH! John Pinnette (a while ago, granted), Kevin Meaney… can somebody check on Gabriel Iglesias, because now I'm worried.

"Whip It" apparently had a lot of B-sides. "Turn Around" was the usual in the Americas, but Discogs has releases cataloged with "Snowball" on the flip (the norm for most of the European releases, looks like), versions with "Freedom of Choice" after the album of the same name was released, and double-A-side releases…

Nathan's dad? ;-)

Well was Alexis a he or she?

Man, now I just want to die with $1000 to my name. Dare to dream!

I only ever saw that movie once - a lifetime ago - and don't remember
anything about the film except Alexis always singing that song. Not a
small feat to outshine Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in their own
film!

Equally, then, your use of "he".

I would pay anything to hear Mal Reynolds deliver that speech.

Just lost his *brother/sister. That's, like, twice as much loss.

For added wackiness, be sure to specify that the lowering of your casket into the grave be accompanied by the soothing tones of "Pop Goes The Weasel". If there's one thing funerals could really use, it's a bit more suspense!

I don't get these comments. What possible reason could you have for thinking that you need to share that with the rest of us?

And she scored herself a hot young toy-boy trophy husband! #YouGoGurl

I had a friend back when who was an actual meth drinker. (Well, I know for a fact he was a meth head, so I take his word for it that in college he used to spike his Gatorade with it for stealthy consumption during all-night study sessions.) Which led to the fun tale about the time someone else who hadn't gotten the…

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