Ow! My erection!

While that's technically true, "technically incorrect" is still my favorite kind of correct.

…and in a funny voice

You've got good taste in women.

Sounds like the DC Talk concert I went to when I was 10.

You should get a divorce.

To be fair, OS X is designed for retina screens.

Me too!

You can conference people in like that.

I like how efficient you are in your communications. Punctuation totally doesn't need a space after it; I see that clearly now.

That's gotta be a pretty long train if it crashes at 100 mph and it doesn't quit crashing until 30 minutes later.