Sure it was...

Obviously not cmgFX2.

ProTip: If you don't want to sound like a douchebag online then don't add ProTips, especially in camel case.

Abraham Lincoln.

My ten foot pole seems incredibly inadequate for this particular subject matter.

Double dog dare you to post this on Jezebel.

I was about to revoke your nerd privileges.

It seems to me that he blew his load before the third act of the movie and he had no effin' clue where to go after that, hence the "creepy" slo-mo child ballet.

Dollar bills sold separately.

No it does not... wtf.

Maybe I'm just jaded from watching too many horror flicks, but i could see the jump scares coming a mile away. One such, even comes with the cliché character-sighs-after-tension-builds-because-everything-seems-OK preamble.

In Soviet Russia you cheat crane... huh... doesn't work that well.

Yes.

We call them losers.

As opposed to the normal chupacabra.

There we go, I was about to point out how disturbing I found the lack of Total Recall Ahnuld pics.

Yeah... no thanks.

I wouldn't call the algorithms dumb. The people who didn't even bother looking at the picture they selected, on the other hand...

>Evolution is just a theory.*

Really? I think it's sadder that no matter how hard you try, you, as you said, are destined to "fail miserably".