Funny. Italians don't like these characters that claim some connection to Italy, and New Jerseyians also don't like these characters that claim some connection to New Jersey!

Because we all like fucking pie? Mouth fucking pie? Yeah, what?

I don't understand the whole muffin top thing. Don't you only get muffin tops when you're wearing pants that are too small? Take your pants off, and magic! No more muffin top. So the "lose your muffin top" diet commercials really confuse me. You get a muffin top regardless of your size if you're wearing ill fitting…

The justice system sure sounds flawless.

Is there an option for "throw it on the toilet tank because I'm to lazy to put it in it's proper place"?

Stop going out in public without your make up on. There, I solved that problem.

She looks like a Canal Street Kardashian now.

Err, aren't you not supposed to wear pearls in the water?

Yeah, I was about to say most of the rich women aren't self made because most rich people in general aren't self made.

Yeah, I don't "get it". You see better looking soccer moms in most burbs.

Like dogs, children are stupid and prone to jumping/slobbering/biting. I think there should be leash laws. And they should wear muzzles as well.

If you can't afford the tip, you can't afford the meal. Think of the student who is waiting your table.

You must eat a lot of spit.

Well, you should probably tip delivery people well just based on the fact that they have good memories and have unsupervised alone time with your food.

This makes me want to buy it more than the ad does.

[www.hulu.com]

Crazy talk. Women aren't supposed to ask men to marry them. When men want to get married they ask. When women want to get married they wait around to get asked. Dems the rules.

This made me happy. Almost as happy as sunsets and chaps and anti-abortion makes me!

"I looked at my wife, from my separate bed, and I said, "There is no way to beat this."