@curiousgeorgiana: I'm a stupid betch.

@sarasasa: Ooooh, you big ol' whore you!

@racharoo: Will responding to one of your comments make you think I want to fuck you? Gee, I hope not.

I immediately noticed that the waxing trend has completely passed him by.

@girlinthegarden: Government aid?

She married her first husband when she was 17?

I don't care if he's sorry or not. All I care about is him not working with children again.

@paperispatient (jez kink squad): Thanks for the link! Here I was thinking the only benefits were no babies and bigger breasts :P

@metalkate: Not suspicious at all. It keeps me not pregnant.

Next lets ban teenagers from getting holiday presents.

@greatsheelephant: I second this.

Heavy cream. Irish butter. Freshly ground pepper. Truffle oil.

@bellejay: Have meat on your bones! And by bones, I mean T and A!!

@neesey3po: Good point! Our options are do this crap, or take a hit in the workplace! Lovely!

@Poubelle: Seriously. I want tempted to go through here and respond to every comment with "but I have curly hair! It's takes 45 mins alone to blow dry!" But I thought a sarcastic tirade was the way to go.

@tiredfairy: Totes! Remember ladies, stand up straight and tall! I don't even wear heels! I mean, I'm 5'10, but still! No matter if you're 5'10 or 5'2, if you stand up straight and tall, you'll get respect!

@eri401: Shut up! This is the internet! Your logic doesn't belong here!

@ShadyLane: I know!? And why do people need those things anyway!? I just have a really good curling mascara, all you need to create Cover Girl commercial lashes is a good mascara!

@nobodyr: Well said. How long you take in the morning largely depends on hair/skin/body/etc type.

OMG, if you take long to get ready, you're like, stupid. I wake up in the morning and shower, then I just let it air dry. I know, it’s super progressive of me to let my straight hair be natural. I mean, I prefer it curled, but that just takes time. Makeup is easy! I’m not an old, nor do I have any obvious skin…