Why are you being deliberately obtuse?

You could not pay me.

Eh, this doesn’t seem like a serial killer. This seems like a family member who thinks he’s cleverly throwing the police off the scent.

Good. Those people belong at Walmart, anyway.

I’d like to counter that you’d think we could point out what a monster Jackson was without having to justify putting a black woman on the bill. The two things should be equally possible independent of one another. He was a monster, and it’s about damn time someone other than a white man wound up on our money.

I don’t know how I knew that elephants were mammals and still never made the connection that they had to have teats somewhere. I’ve seen an elephant penis in a zoo, but these are my first elephant titties. :)

That’s a lot of dignity, eloquence, and integrity, especially for someone at a Republican candidate’s rally.

I’ve read this three times now, and I still have no idea what the mystery or the light shined on it are, despite the article’s title implying that both would be discussed therein. :-/

I had a hell of a time with the dragon and an easy time with Quelaag. Of course, Quelaag is pretty easy to take down if you prefer boring sniping, like I do.

You seriously didn’t name that one dragon “Vagina Dentata?” I remember almost all of the actual names, but not that one, because everyone calls it something based on the word “vagina.”

I hate Ted Cruz. Loathe. Abhor, even.

*looks at hands*

When I first read this, I didn’t even question the statistics regarding race and abortion. My thinking was, “well, yeah, people of color are disproportionately represented among the lower socioeconomic classes, and it makes sense that people who have a harder time affording health insurance (and hence birth control)…

I did not know what a prostitute was until sixth grade, when I asked in a VBS class about the prodigal son. True story.

Exactly. All of my online “friends” are strangers who posted their FCs on gamefaqs. Nintendo specifically doesn’t want you to do that, but how the fuck else am I going to play online? And even when you ARE friends with someone, and they happen to be online, you can’t send them a quick message to see if they want to…

Nintendo just doesn’t understand how to handle multiplayer. I know that this is an old gripe, but it’s ridiculous that this generation of Nintendo games still makes it so hard to just play with other people.

Limited edition goods? I hope there aren’t any trading cards... because I can’t go. :(

The hell he is.

I’m German-Irish. I can celebrate that any day I want, and no one would think I’m being racist. I can read from countless sources, fiction and non-fiction, about the struggles and triumphs of German and Irish immigrants to the United States. This is because my ancestors were allowed to choose to come here. I know who…

My solution: tentacle porn tattoos.