I try to clean, but goddamn you have no idea how tiring it gets hauling around this penis all day.

I was in a physics lab group with 3 guys. They would seriously ask me which labs they had missed or needed to finish and expect me to know or care. Somehow, they thought I was group secretary. After they got a few 0s, they learned to keep track of their own shit.

Okay, time to contribute.

People on CNN are literally saying that a “gun free zone” means everyone is a sitting duck.

That is sadly true. We’re a country that is more afraid of sex than violence. Look at how many violent things there are on TV. A lot of the top primetime shows deal with CSI. It becomes banal to us.

its Roseburg. It’s a white guy.

That's probably why they wanted to know!

Damn, maybe the person who accidentally texted me “Who u been fucking?” recently was my soulmate and I missed it.

This isn’t new, it’s just new technology. Back in the day, I sent a carrier pigeon who ended up getting lost and flying west instead of east, and the result was a beautiful, long, sustained pigeon-exchange. We celebrated our seventeenth anniversary in August.