MINI Clubman or Countryman seems to be the perfect replacement for the Juke. Fun, Frugal, and customizable to help differentiate itself from the other Minis that you might see out there in OK. 

Writer has a decent budget and wants something funky, and unique.

I got stuck with shuttle duty one time in a big Suburban of the 2016-17ish vintage, I've never been more anxious about plowing into something or side-swiping something in my life

Does it really feel nicer to drive something that large? I don’t think so. It’s a fucking pain in the ass. People just don’t want to admit that. I have a neighbor with a big dually Ram and the aggravation that guy goes through trying to park that thing isn’t even funny any more.

I laughed my ass off when I opened the hood of a Ram and saw that little 5.7L tucked down in the engine bay like it had been scared.

Another thing is that the headlights on these new trucks seem to be exactly eye height for anyone in a standard sedan, hatch, etc. I drive and E46 and when newer trucks pass by, especially the latest GM trucks, they blind me in a way that most other vehicles do not. 

Customers demand more ground clearance, so we raised the hood an extra foot. I get that ground clearance means raising hardware up which means lifting body lines but you go ahead and look me in the eye GM and tell me that the hood on the silverado 1500 and up is because of the 9 whole inches of ground clearance.

Um, why is AWD a must, exactly? Do you plan on driving through a lot of snow drifts? AWD does not really help you with icy or snow covered roads.

Guy: I want reliability.

“The Chrysler 200 I Bought A Few Months Ago Already Needs To Be Replaced!”

I kind of like the grill on this one.

Face facts: when designers “style” a chunky station wagon, they only get to do two things:

Dear Jalopnik and G/O Media in general,

M1 has the looks, small noses forever

Nooooo… mmm… nope. I don’t think it worked. Sorry.

I agree that there are a ton of laws that need to get addressed, but the low hanging fruit are the ones that are easily enforceable. (Summer tire restrictions are almost impossible to enforce even if it should be a law.) There is no point in bashing a good law just because there are better ones to be had. Progress is…

Sorry, David; but pointing out that modern SUVs and trucks have visibility issues out of the factory cannot be a defense for making those issues worse with a modification. The motivations may be bigotry or general assholeness, but that doesn’t negate that they may be on the right side of the argument just for the…

“We did stupid dangerous shit in the past and managed to survive and therefore we should never ban stupid dangerous shit” isn’t really a coherent argument.

Some people have trouble lifting 40 lbs shoulder height or higher (mulch is probably lighter than that, IDK, I’m used to buying bags of dirt), but that aside, I know I couldn’t reach over and place it down into the bed of an F150 because I’m not a sasquatch and I wouldn’t want to be dropping it over the top to have it…

If that Pao song isn't your ringtone I'm going to be disappointed