Were there boat puns in this article? I mast have missed them.

Right? Why can’t the guy (or gal) who gets the most votes simply be the one selected? Why must it be more complicated than that?

Can we have a list of top 10 unpenalized illegal hits to Cam Newton for 2016?

Mathis wouldn’t have a career if it wasn’t for white people and their nostalgia fetish. Somehow I blame him for Trump.

Me too. WWI showed a global war can start with some minor characters, a few bullets, and ridiculously overheated nationalist rhetoric.

I think someone rolled a 12-sided die and now we are on timeline #13.

The man being put in charge of the development of our nuclear energy and nuclear arsenal is best known for his catch phrase “Oops”.

A BAC of 0.10 in Floyd is a 0.11 in Catanzaro because he always blows an extra point.

Same guy that went low on Cam Newton earlier this year (probably others too, I’m just a Panthers fan). If you’re Campbell, it’s totally worth it—IF they call it you get 15 yards, maybe a fine after the game (tiny compared to your salary), but your opponent loses their quarterback.

I don’t want to get into conspiracies, but the spelling is actually kinda good . . .

He looks like Nickelback’s dad.

I didn’t want to subjugate humankind to the whims of murderous apes, but after that email thing, I just couldn’t quite trust Hillary.

I always treat Ballon d’Or leaks with Toviaz.

How does Johnny Manziel still have money?

So now what’s your excuse Mike Zimmer?

Boxing Day is next month, HamNo. Every year the hype around this holiday starts earlier and earlier.

HELP WANTED: One hockey coach, experience preferred. Travel a must, excellent benefits, and competitive pay. Salary growth potential with successful performance. Slight chance that when the relationship sours candidate will be publicly shunned by team and humiliated hundreds of miles from home in front of sports…

I would normally agree, but . . .

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

He’ll agree to it as long as CNN offers a key 7PM time slot for their new show “The Nationalism Hour with David Duke”.