Of course I don't. I have built up a natural immunity, strengthened by nuts, berries, vitamins, and regular sessions with an E-meter. I'd like to see the Autism virus try to penetrate the defenses of my temple.

Six years ago my then 3 year old son saw the Santa version of the snowman pan in the catalog and asked me to get it. I did because I was 7 months pregnant and felt guilty about this being his last Christmas without a sibling. WORST DECISION. First, the fancy ass decorations in the catalog were done with fruit…

The game was so bad last night I changed it over and watched Peter Pan. It was bad but at least I could laugh at it.

That's not John Wayne.....That's Rooster Fucking Cogburn!!! The man must be considered armed and extremely intoxicated.

Former high school boys and girls head swim coach here. Day after day, meet after meet, practice after practice, the girls team would go to the locker room, throw on sweats and hoodies, and leave. The boys team would hang around in the locker room forever, showering, fighting, doing who knows what else went on in…

The fact that he considers mass-produced seasoning packets a "little known trick" is the cooking equivalent of his "little known coaching tactic" of screaming at people.

Schroeder makes a good point. I mean, if you divorce his playing days from actual football, he was a hell of a quarterback.

Gluten will make your dick fly off.

Hi, Milwaukee here. You know, a city that has a lot of cold weather and hockey. So anyways, if your not doing anything, maybe you'd want to go out sometime. I know your kind of seeing South Florida, but if you are ever looking for someone that will really appreciate you, we're here for you.

By the way, Tom, maybe Deadspin can get the Vikings to comment on why they didn't feel the need "to allow the judicial process to move forward" when A.J. Jefferson was taken to jail by Eden Prairie police on probable cause of domestic assault in November 2013. They cut him the same day he was arrested.

Sometimes I wish I cared half as much about ridiculous shit as these people care about bacon signs and DEM DAMN DURTY VEGAN AY-RAAAABS but then I remember I'm a well-adjusted person who doesn't act like a spoiled, whiny brat whenever something conflicts with my world view and I feel good about myself.

um, Minneapolis has one of the largest urban Native American populations in the country.

You've clearly never been to Minneapolis. Heh. I imagine the people who paid for the huge plaza at the stadium would be there, at least.

Added perk, the size of the van provides ample distance between Jay and his unvaccinated children.

The first rule of CrossFit is you do not stop talking about CrossFit.

The only problem I see with this is that it's made for them, so there's no way in hell they'll ever use it as intended.

High school kids might not be the brightest when it comes to some decisions, but I know my mind was fully made up when I was in high school that having a child was not a burden that I would want. And no glossy year book spread (which this one isn't) would have convinced me otherwise.

Well, maybe I am giving too much credit to the intelligence of teenagers, but I guess I feel like if someone sees the headline "I'm Working a Double Shift" and comes away thinking that having a baby is cool, that person is so dumb that they probably would've ended up having a kid anyway, without the added influence of…