Jesus, if my diabetic husband ever hears about the combination of cinnamon raisin with bacon chive, his life is over. He would totally sacrifice a limb to that. 

That Lions tweet is going to figure HEAVILY into WYTS 2019. 

Of course he loves 9/11! He got like $150,000 of other people’s money and it made his tower the tallest. 

That explains Ben Shapiro. 

Why the fuck wasn’t him taking money meant for small businesses given more traction? If the goddamned orchestras caught hell for it, why didn’t he? 

It’s also borderline as fuck. Placing the blame for your own actions on someone else is not healthy. 

And that’s not even discussing how abusive/manipulative partners will blame their significant other for their drug use and/or threaten suicide if they leave. Pro tip: If you need to break up with someone and they threaten suicide, call 911. They will either get the help they need, or they’ll learn real damn fast that…

So much this. I saw all kinds of “she should have supported him, and canceled her tours, and made him go to rehab if she REALLY loved him.” First off, you can’t MAKE anyone go to rehab. Unless he was using enough to qualify for substance abuse based civil commitment, she couldn’t make him do shit. And it’s real…

Between this and the “Friends” video? It’s probably going to be a good season to be a Packer fan. 

There is no way Trump is able to use the term lodestar and not think it’s related to his dick. 

I can’t find anything about diplomas from Gallaudet University. They’re signed by the President, since it’s a federally funded school. I can’t imagine their graduates being thrilled by having their diplomas signed by someone who called Marlee Matlin “retarded.” 

That would fit, since he’s kinda a judgmental douche about opioid/alcohol addicts. 

My toddler is better mannered, more eloquent, and has better pronunciation than the president. And she’d get along with Angela Merkel way better. 

“Well, we’ve all got to sacrifice, it’s going to get better, Trump promised.” 

I’d much rather pay taxes towards food stamps than towards “farm subsidies,” which include payments towards people who buy those quaint country houses on a couple of acres of land, and then collect a check to not farm land they had zero intention of ever farming. And vote Republican, of course, because they hate…

Yes, it’s a rivalry. For now, things are lopsided, but they won’t be forever. 

Having grown up about 2 miles from Miller Park, let me clarify that it is a rivalry because it involves "Fibs." I didn't even know there was a rivalry between Wisconsin and Minnesota until I moved there, and even then I was like "but you aren't fibs." Also my mom does parking at Miller Park, and they raise parking…

So basically, he thinks she’s hot, and that’s why he noticed her. Fox News led him to the assumption that only raging Republican bottle blondes were hot.

Rage boners are the only boners most of their audience can get. Including a certain orange one. 

But.... not the executives, and especially not the cabinet. They’re still gonna get theirs.