That’s what I was thinking, he’s just fucking with her now.

The only hologram performance I can truly get on board with is that of Lil Sebastian.

It was a very windy day, so we ended up lobbing my Nana off a cliff cannister and all.

She said it over and a over. We said (out of her hearing “One last time dad. So totally YOU”).

Watching my FIL let loose his beloved wife’s remains was one of the most harrowing experiences I’ve ever had. Being me, I could have had a little more of “He’s in my mouth.” And I really really hope someone said “That’s what she said.”

Fuck that, look at my personal puppy pile.

I’m very proud...here’s hoping she doesn’t lick anything and flush that pride down the tubes.

I used not read this feature (honestly don’t know why bc I live my entire life on twitter) and now I’m so happy when I come across it yay. Also, I wish my mind worked like Yoko Ono's, she seems so purposeful and peaceful and me, I worry all fucking day about nonsense.

I’m at the point in my cycle where babies are just blah. Kittens are always a squee.

Cheat life! I’m a grownup and I will eat whatever I damn want. As long as my braces can handle it.

My mom and her sisters released my nana, she ended hitting a police roadblock...

Yes!!! Winston for James Bond, 2016!

@Ryan Reynolds

Kim Kardashian only had one churro? I now understand why she is famous.

I figured I would try to switch up the whole cheat day thing so what I do is I make every day a cheat day and then once a week I have a somewhat healthy day.

Trevor Noah didn’t tell her how to react. He was floored, and I was too, that she confronted him with all of his hateful tweets and let the whole thing go with an “did I do that? Oh, excuse me,” then moved on like it never happened.

Incidentally, “kid gloves”, also the name of the mittens from the children’s department that Donald Trump must buy to fit his tiny hands.