The only type of gender reveal party I ever want to be at is one where the baby is revealed to be a female... unicorn.

‘Surprise!’ I yelled. ‘Gender is a kind of imitation for which there is no original; in fact, it is a kind of imitation that produces the very notion of the original as an effect and consequence of the imitation itself!’ Cuteness overload.”

I’m very hhappy that The PCP laced weed I sold you guys worked

Here’s a crazy gender reveal for ya: just give birth!

you must be a man

I’m just a D, but I do need to hold ‘em when I run down the stairs, so I know this ain’t gonna work for me.

If it has an American flag design on it then no you commie

I’ve managed it a couple of times. :)

can you burn a bralette or not?? is it appropriate?

Usually, bralette manufacturers forego cup sizes, and are sized XS and up;

would you recommend this product to someone who is having trouble with boobs that exist in four dimensions and often travel back in time in an attempt to change history with often disastrous results?

Co-signed,

*glances down at F-cups firmly ensconced in literally the only bra that works on them*

“I’ve seen things, man. Things you can’t un-see. Aaaoooohhh”

Well, if it makes him happy to soak up the sun, why not? No one said it would be easy owning a dog! You should get some sun yourself, Bobby; you seem pale and a change would do you good. Every day is a winding road! Gasoline! All I wanna do!

Everyone knows dogs never look at the fucking camera when you're trying to take their picture, so I call a 'shop job on this.

When I worked at HMV we had a regular who bought scads of music on a weekly basis and we worried about him when he didn’t make it in because of his health issues. We were lucky though, he called in, explained how poorly he was doing because of his symptoms and had us put aside several hundred dollars worth of music.

I…

His weed dealer was also concerned, but stopped short of calling the cops.