She was a raging alcoholic. Now I imagine her drunk as fuck. Stumbling around and somehow causing the ship to sink. It’s a way better movie in my imagination that way.

Even better *slow clap*

I just wanna scream "Rose" while I nut his Leo's mouth.

Other advice my grandfather has given me

I was on the fence before about this election. But Trump is blatantly lying about this. Leo is still hot and I would let him give me a beej. As my grandfather told me "A mouth is a mouth. And a hole is a hole. The only difference is the smell."

What made the situation worse is the fact that my son's mother is a fucking New England transplant and I had to listen to her talk a bunch of garbage about how the Patriots are the best and the Vikes suck. She doesn't even follow sports, even though she sports every single one of Boston's team logos on bumper stickers…

Yeah I see what you're saying. But I was talking to the OP. His buddy had the right idea.

Gary Anderson is Blair Walsh's spirit animal.

You jinxed us, bro.

I watched Blair shank that kick, and before my father could even register what happened I yelled "Are you fucking kidding me!?" Less than 30 seconds later, I got a text from a friend of mine and it read "Are you fucking kidding me!?"

I'm off to get day drink.

Are we sure that his head wasn't backwards?

That's exactly how I eat my pizza.

I wish I had a zoo keeper as my wingman.

I love the fact that the giant oven is labeled "giant oven".

What I meant to say was Kevin Sullivan did it.

Kill my family, put a copy of the Bible on their bodies and then kill myself.

Most nurses would get their licenses taken away for what that asshole is putting his mother through.

Lochte really shit the bed on this one, didn’t he?

I’ll probably have to go with Castlevania, Zelda II, Punch Out, Dragon Warrior, Street Fighter II, and Chrono Trigger.