At first I thought it would be Louis since he is the least interesting and everyone knows the zombie movie minority trope, but since the article mentioned self-sacrifice, it has to be the old man. After all, you've got your whole life ahead of you. He's had a good run.

@chaoticumbrella: I'm not defending the App Store by any means, but why not use one of the many other examples instead of slapping a 1984 image and title on an article about how a douchebag got what was coming to him?

I'm getting really disappointed in Kotaku. Over the past month, I've noticed an increase in blatantly inflammatory article titles with completely contradictory facts in the article.

Dear Dr. Ian Bogost, published author

@1Grand_Marquis: Touché.

C'mon Kotaku, the incessant Pokemon shit and now a Chuck Norris joke? Not that the video's Dos Equis joke was any less lame, just a little more up-to-date.

It's difficult to say, really. On one hand, many people would condemn most of America, and they'd be arguably right. But I still have faith in this country. People are the same the world over. There are always good people and always douchebags who give a locale a bad name. I'm not saying America is the best country in…

A sad commentary on our media & society, but why do you fall into the trap with your own inflammatory title?

@bassrocker521: Glory glory!

Can I....

@The_DarkStar: Breaking News:

@Gusdor: I was just saying you need to lighten up. Do you expect anyone to be surprised by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance using the word "gay"?

@rogXue: I forbid my kid from knowing how the real world works!

@Gusdor: Yes, it's a mass conspiracy to infer that straight people are more depressed. Sounds like someone needs to get laid.

@cfive3: I remember seeing that a long time ago. Does it still hold true after the update?

Damn. I have never gotten into Halo in the slightest and that impressed me.

@p|-|15|-|: When you let a provider give you a free update "at their leisure," they hear "never."

The original George A. Romero zombie was never called a "zombie" either. Neither was it explained. The closest any Romero explanation has come to canon is "When hell is full, the dead shall walk the earth."

Too. Many. Puns.

@Vescosein: Woah, this is no joke? I've gone on assuming it looked like it was supposed to. That top-right picture would make it a horror-game for all the wrong reasons.