I bet they have a pickpocket monkey living in their crawspace. That seems the most logical explanation to me.

That is weird. I wonder if there is a portal at their house that leads to the world of lost phones.

Well. I’d like to comment on how sexist and absurd this is and post pictures of clothing from The Handmaid’s Tale, but I realize that would be hypocritical as I have been a huge proponent of the “no cats without hats movement”. As many of you know, this has been the biggest political issue of 2016, as I am pro-forcing…

“When you say “document” I don’t know what that means?” The judge said. “Is it a mint you put on a dock? I can’t even read! Once I sat on the dock and went fishing with my Pa. He said buddy, you’re not as book smart as the other kids.....or as street smart I guess.....but.....Well, I guess there is no but. I’m truly…

Two Corinthians One Trump is the next viral video.

I’m done for the week.

“Excuse me, my gun is up here."

girl cant even tie up a whole store-full of employees at gunpoint and steal millions of dollars in jewelry without wearing a mask without being sexualized like whats a girl gotta do to avoid sexual harassment in the workplace smh

First of all, I don’t accept your premise that I’m not qualified to play starting center for the LA Clippers. I mean yes, I’m 5’3” and a bit soft in the middle, but a losing record is good for a team, not bad.

Counterpoint : this would be an ideal party for a surprise paintball raid.

“One really interesting thing about Ben Carson is that he was actually on the Titanic and the ship was going down, and he thought that was it! He was a dead man! But then God time travelled him into the future to save him. You’re probably like to present day? But nah I’m going to add a bunch of unnecessary details…

Ben Carson delivered himself as a baby. He even snipped his own umbilical cord. Fact.

“Wow, what is in that cup?” Anderson asked quietly.

Scene of recent flooding, army drafted in, lass from Lancashire strolling by wearing pyjamas with fag and wine in hand. Sums us all up.

I love that people have been turning that first picture into works of art:

Weed in all forms are acceptable. You have the power to save him.

Or like a cross to a Vampire. “The power of Pork compels you!”

You know what else is important? Understanding language, rhetoric, reasoning, argument, logic, etc.

I am so sick of this bullshit prioritizing science and math over the humanities. People who can’t evaluate argument, recognize propaganda or understand history and sociology are much easier to manipulate, even if they…