After a grueling season, these guys finally get to go home, unwind, and let their skeletons climb out of their skin bags. The skeletons of NFL players get to run around and commit crimes and generally just relax. Blow off steam. Get re-energized. When you get up there in age, it’s harder and harder to coax your…

...but a loss could leave him craving one more shot.

I’d be more suspicious of Cassel, and his three picks in the game, then a guy claiming injury while his teammate racks up 150+ rushing yards.

Randle was reached for a reply and denied he ever gambled, “I merely enjoyed playing Draft Kings like millions of my fellow Americans, which is a game of SKILL, not gambling.”

Ejecting the homeless ~and~ hiring security personnel? Sounds like somebody is missing a two birds/one stone solution (hiring the homeless to sleep inside larger sculptures, fiercely defend them against desecration)

+1 = 50

And here I thought I’d have to wait until the game to see a statue repeatedly knocked over.

Sure, I don’t know Portuguese, but I’ll try to muddle through with the bit of Spanish I know:

And all these years I thought the euphemism was browning a bunny. You learn something new everyday.

Yeah, but who wouldn’t want to move off of NBC?

J.J. Redick, who today blew a bunny

It should be fine, I mean Philip Rivers’ kids’ alone fill up half the stadium.

you can thank Coca-Cola for giving these bears an inflated sense of self. Here’s the thing, Polar Bears. You are relevant for one month of the year. Do you even hear from Coke the rest of the year? Nope. If this is some shitty way to supplement your income, you’d be better off showing Panda Bears how to fuck.

The major question, of course, is whether L.A. has enough apathy to support two teams rather than just one.

Holy shit, awful! My three-year-old does better than that and he’s terrible. I’m always like “there are kids your age in Pakistan making soccer balls and you can’t fingerpaint a fucking cloud?”

(Colon smiles as he chews, turning one condiment-stained thumb up)

The trail of blood wouldn’t have been so spread out if only Pappa, a longtime Sounder, had a cup to bleed in.

Bartolo Colon one-upped him with a foursome. A true baller goes for four patties on his Shake Shack burger

Tatoosh is a Native American name from the Makah people of Washington State. There was a Makah Chief named Tatoosh in the late 1700's, there is also a Tatoosh (named for the Chief) Island off Cape Flattery (NW Tip of the Olympic Peninsula) in the Pacific Ocean.

2003: BLAZERS HIT REEFER HARD