The tree of homecoming must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of the jocks who laughed at my Iron Man diarama back in 7th grade.

THE PUNISHER!

Add some prosthetic jowls and paint a gin blossom on his nose and it would be uncanny

My name is Paul, and this is between y'all.

Sounds like a straight to video Dana Carvey film, circa 1998.

We think it's always a bit because whenever you call someone on their hate-murder fantasies the standard response is "I was just kidding bro"

I don't know Lil Duvall either, but based on what I read here, he sounds like a total hack. Howard (gawd help us!) Stern was driving bits like that into the ground back in the 80s and IT WAS TIRED AND HACKY BACK THEN TOO.

Intercooooooourse.

If I wanted to read articles carefully I wouldn't be browsing the AVClub

Exclesior!

"Skim-pox"

When I told my wife we'd have our usual Friday date night AND then I'd spend 4 hours playing Xbox when we got home, she didn't seem to think it was very funny at all.

Antelope are gnawing at the croquet hoops.

I've been appointed the czar of buzzard orgies on accound of my raccoon-shapped birthmark.

Back in my teens, I had that memorized. I don't anymore because it only came up when I forced it and I only ever got eye-rolls when I did so.

That's a funny comment… now let me tell you why.

…"That kettle is hella black"

THE AV CLUB

All my relatives talk like its the best thing every but I think the food is bland and I always feel vaguely sick after eating there. Obviously, my love of `Murica is lacking.

At least his pipes are cleeeeeeeeeean!