Gosh. He should have thrown in some descriptions of their hot, bearded tits so we'd know.

We could do an analysis of the speaking styles of of the women characters in Tolkien's writings if he had more than two that actually had any dialog.

I predict that in 5 years or so all scandals will be called Trump-ups.

Or water.

Congrats! That's double what I was able to stomach

I see a business opportunity here. How long before we can expect a gritty reboot of BIrth of a Nation with an inevitable expansion into a shared cinematic Ku Klux Universe?

My theory is that most evil assholes see themselves as The True Victims.

…That everyone will ignore.

How would one go about getting a Devo distribution licence in one's home prefecture?

We also have hip problems and a secret escalating opiate addiction, right guys? …Guys?

I keep getting him confused with the guy from Rum DMC.

…guarantee void in Tennessee

I guess I could wait until I was about to fart…

Hip bones are the new clavicles!

There is nothing 'faux' about my outrage.

He knew what he was getting into. Life as a cat wrangler is always intense.

Same here, except we named our dog "Xenomorph"

Ditto. I wouldn't even think about it.

One Day at a Time makes me think of MacKenzie Phillips and when I think about MacKenzie Phillips I think about her and her Dad. And then I feel sick.

Fred Schneider.