Indeed. Now lets listen to what Ted Nugent and Victoria Jackson have to say about international affairs.

Fun Fact: Before she fell in battle with the Balrog she was Betty Grey.

NUMBER NINE…
NUMBER NINE…
NUMBER NINE…
NUMBER NINE…
NUMBER NINE…
NUMBER NINE…
NUMBER NINE…

Worth it just to see all the gold records hanging up in his studio. Genuinely impressive.

My step-mother discovered that she could make pumpkin pie with squash and for years she would make these god-awful squash pies mostly because she seemed to think it was 'neat' and as far as she was concerned she could tell much of a difference. Finally dad told her to stop; squash is not an adequate substitute for…

Do your knees start shaking and your fingers pop?

Rather than reminding me that I sat through Die Hard 3, a better example of complete balls-to-the-wall racial fearlessness that could never be reproduced today would be Blazing Saddles.

She didn't own a record player but she new it sounded better than digital.

Well, I have been to Graceland.

Michael Jackson on the other hand was talented but CRAZY as a fucking loon. The end result is the same.

I feel bad for Elvis because he was talented but not smart and - like a lot of talented but not smart people - he got himself surrounded by a pack of parasites who kept him doped up in order to keep the cash cow producing bank for his entourage.

Oh hells yeah.

I'm a modern, liberal male raised by a feminist, single-mom. I'm only interested in a killer robot partner.

If that was true you would have said OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh, Mr. Bill, you're a one-joke hack from the 70s. We might as well have a Raymond J Johnson Junior week.
No offense.

Ah Sesame Street - the reason every member of Generation X can count to 20 in Spanish.

The only way to do that is to broadcast things that are absolutely un-rebroadcastable… maybe a 2 Girls & 1 Cup stage show or something.

Mail!? You can keep your modern contrivances if you must but I have my cylinders delivered by unpaid native runners.

LOTS! And they all regularly vote in midterm elections… apparently.

GTFO